I haven’t written in a long time. I mean, there really wasn’t much to say but the same old thing…we get to play the waiting game while we learn to parent a sweet, sweet child that isn’t ours. We’ve learned, fell, got back up, fell again, then rolled down the hill. But, we always got back up. That is pretty much the extent of our life with our little guy.
And then, yesterday we did a thing.
To be fair, as a foster parent it isn’t really a thing because it’s the actual foster parent thing. But, for me, man, this is a huge thing.
For any of you who know me I’m a tomboy. I mean I’ll use make up here and there, I’ll put on a dress. I’ll have my amazing friend beautify me for a date night. I can do all of that. But, I’m a tomboy. I love jeans and a simple shirt. I’m really not a tights girl but I’ll use them. I don’t own a curling iron (but, if you’re looking for a Christmas present for me…well, I’m down) but I own a flat iron. I own some really pretty jewelry but I use the same ones every day. I’m more comfortable in my skin when I get to talk about football or basketball instead of, you know, girlish things.
Yesterday we did a thing. And guys, THIS. IS. BIG.
I told Jeremy I really want to only foster boys. I get boys. I get their rough and tumble mentality. I get being dirty. And no, I’m not saying girls can’t be because, hello, I do! But, listen…
We did a thing. We said yes to a beautiful 14 month old little girl. A GIRL!
We prayed, we reached out to people before we said yes. All the doors flew wide open. Even if I tried to talk myself out of it. We have a list of questions we ask the placement desk. If any of the questions are answered “No” then the placement isn’t a good fit for us. Our little guy we’ve had since January was the only one that had all yeses. Not even the two brothers we were days ago bringing into our home had all yeses. Then came this sweet girl. Yes in flying colors. Affirmation from family and friends. Everything fell into place. So, we said yes.
It wasn’t until after we had her in her car seat that everything hit me. Yeah, after Bug I’ve learned I can actually keep a little human alive and allow him to thrive. I told myself and Jeremy we can help her thrive too. Until I realized as I pulled away from the office that I have a girl.
I don’t know how to put up hair.
I didn’t know I was supposed to stretch the rubber bands before putting it in her hair.
I don’t know how to dress a girl.
I don’t understand how girls have different toys.
I don’t know how girls’ shoes really different from boy shoes.
I say all of this, I’m saying it’s a big thing, because guys, it is. I feel almost sheltered. We picked our little girl up at 330p yesterday. We picked up our little guy from day care at 4p. From 4p until they went to bed a few hours later I saw the COMPLETE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRL AND A BOY. Or, at least with this girl and boy.
When people say girls like more frufru things and boys like big trucks I say it’s true. I had a moment in time when my little girl dropped everything for what I saw as a freaky blue haired doll. My boy, he dropped everything for his Cars rider.
When people say boys are rough and tumble and girls are more gentle I say, YES! When our Bug learned to walk he face planted thousands of times. He walked into walls. Tripped over things. Got bruises – and still does – with everything. He thinks it’s a joke. As Tita learns to walk she is graceful and slow. She is concise with her steps and when she’s falling it’s almost like an art form. I kid you not.
When people say girls learn their motor skills sooner and love to work with their hands while boys take a little longer, I witnessed it. I have one of those toys with blocks that you can slide every which way from one end to the other. Bug just likes to drag it around the room to make noises. Tita sat there this morning and played with it. She moved the blocks from end to end.
When people say boys are loud and girls aren’t, well, may that’s true for this young age. My boy is very vocal. Very, very, very vocal. He will let you know if he likes or dislikes something. My girl, she has a quiet demeanor going on. She gets excited when she sees food (good golly Jeremy, you now have three of us who love our food), excited when she sees something she likes, but she’s more reserved.
There is really a difference between a boy and a girl. Or at least between my 1 year old boy and my 1 year old girl. They require different stimulations and it’s insane to see that.
I’m looking forward to learning how to be a mama to a girl – like doing her hair because today was almost comical trying to get those damn small rubber bands on her hair. I’m looking forward to learning to be gentle and quiet to meet her needs as much as I meet my boy’s. I’m looking forward to learning to play with freaky dolls and making pony sounds instead of rolling the truck to hit my boy and making car sounds.
We did a thing, y’all. And merciful days we are on an adventure! xoxo