We survived. The three of us. Learning about each other. Getting used to a new schedule. We survived.
A week of baby and I’m exhausted. I knew that motherhood was hard and tiring. But, I will never ever underestimate a mother or father who has said, “I was up with the little one all night because he wasn’t feeling well.” Or, “Little one is teething so we didn’t get much sleep.” I give props to the mamas and dads out there who have given so unselfishly that their kiddo would thrive. I hope I am doing the same for our little one.
I have shared before how there has been a deep cavity in my heart for so long. It was accentuated when I would hug a friend’s little or anything really with a little that wasn’t mine. After this week, even if I don’t know if O is my forever baby, the hole is gone. To be able to tell him, “Mama loves you and prays for you,” as he smiles away the day has been such an incredible blessing. God is in full control of this situation and each day I am humbled, honored, grateful that He would choose Jeremy and I to love on this baby.
The minute I saw this little boy’s face I knew my heart was gone. I knew that everything – all the struggles to get here – was worth it. Being able to take a hold of this little boy’s hand and be his mama for however long God will allow me to is all that I want to do. To be able to bless this boy, teach him who God is, and to love him makes motherhood, as tiring as it is, my most favorite job in the whole world. And all of the scary stories of fostering we here will not hinder the fact that God is working this out.
This week we got to do so much with him. He went on his first road trip to see my mom and sister. Ama and Aunty Jac Jac doted on him and loved him. My niece quickly took ownership, calling O her baby. Mind you she’s two. We got to see his first roll – even if it was just half a roll to his side. His first giggle. His first taste of oatmeal. And the coming of his baby molars.
I’m enjoying all that being a mama has to offer. My most favorite moments include when he holds my hand when he eats, when I sing to him How Great Thou Art and he smiles in his sleep, and the fact that I finally have someone who adores my singing. We dance and sing together every day. We read and make noises. We laugh and cuddle. Guys, I know there will be lows *cough* the lack of sleep and me time *cough* but oh, how many highs there are! It definitely helps when we have some amazing people in our corner cheering us on. I love my family and friends for their continuous support and encouragement through this process. We are so very blessed.
Let me close with the below poem. I wrote it the day after we brought him home. I didn’t finish it because I was so pooped I fell asleep. But, now as I think about it, it’s the perfect start of our adventures. xoxo
Coddled with care
A place of belonging
A kindred stare
Life became complete
With likened hearts
Hands in agreeance
A new life to start