I am blessed to be reminded how many people who are fighting and praying for Jeremy and I during this journey. Life can be so unpredictable and knowing that we have family and friends standing in agreeance with us, for us, has allowed us to stand faithful in the fact that our God is greater than any bad report or action through this journey.
Yesterday, I was filled with a lot of emotions.
Anger. Because I felt like I was betrayed by the State and knifed in my heart by an old therapist.
Sadness. Because my heart just hurt knowing we’re being forced to wait even longer to be united with our beautiful boy…or girl as Jeremy sees it.
Frustration. Because I felt like another door was being blocked.
Loneliness. Because I looked at the empty crib and my heart ached.
Guilt. Because I doubted my ability as a woman to give my husband a family.
So, I wrote. Albeit not in the greatest frame of mind. I finally reread my blog yesterday and thankfully while it was snarky I didn’t say anything I regret. Phew! Evidence that I’m actually learning!
Jeremy and I talked yesterday and he posed this question: If the end goal is being able to have a little one to call our own is going through all this worth it? And yes, the answer is and will always be yes. This will be worth it all. I just needed to take a step back and trust in God and our growth in Him. And as long as we have friends and family like y’all.
All of this to say, thank you. To every single one of you that reached out via FB, Messenger, phone, text. Thank you for believing in us, believing in me. Your kind words touched my heart in so many ways. It helped me remember that this is but a road block for what God has in store. You don’t know how much I love and appreciate you all for that. We couldn’t be more blessed to have each and every one of you in our lives.
Thank you so much.