On March 31 our licensor moved on from her current position to a position that better suited her life. I can’t blame her for I understand the need as I’ve done the same many times including quite recently. In fact, the same day as she. But, with her change also comes change for us. And I’m beginning to wonder if God is preparing us for the continual changes that comes with foster and foster to adopt situations.
Since the 31st I have contacted her previous supervisor three times. Our last conversation frustrated me…
“Have we been assigned a new licensor yet?”
“I’m sorry Mrs. Flores, I promise you I am getting to it.”
“It’s been near two months since you knew she was leaving.”
“It has. You will not be in limbo much longer.”
“That’s kinda what you said the last time.”
“It’s all I’ve got.”
You see, with her leaving we are now out of a licensor. Which means our case currently does in fact sit in limbo. And if you know me, I absolutely hate being in limbo. It ignites something in me. Mostly because I have OCD and things just have to be in order, I have to be prepared, I don’t like one offs. I guess that’s why I live in the black and white.
I’ve been going to check my mail everyday after work. That isn’t something I do. I usually check my mail once a week. But, I’m hoping to just get that letter saying, “Hi I’m so and so you’re new licensor.” How do we go on with the process without a licensor? A little one sits in limbo as well because we can’t bring them home. Why must the process be so frustrating?
Through this process, though, I have learned a few things.
I have quickly learned that being a foster parent – or wanting to be – will require me to put away the idea of being prepared and in order. Heck, I think motherhood is just flying by the seat of your pants and adapting to what comes your way. Maybe this is practice, Lord?
I have learned that I severely need to work on my patience. If anyone knows the best way to get better at being patient, please let me know. Patience – or the lack thereof – is probably my Achilles heel. Or at least part of it.
I have learned – rather relearned – that I have an incredible husband who does have the patience that I lack. He helps keep me grounded with the process and still allows me to get whatever I want for little one.
So we don’t have a licensor yet? It’s ok. We are in limbo but there is a time and purpose for everything. Good and bad. And, so I just have to remember, limbo land is probably here to teach me something. So, the best thing to do is buckle down and wait. xoxo