Lately I’ve not been sleeping much. I woke up this morning with visible dark circles under my eyes which forced me to put on makeup that I didn’t have a lot of time to put on. But, today was a special day. Today we got to celebrate the kiddos that have helped bring me back to life and there wasn’t anything that was gonna stop me from looking my Ms. Pearls best for them.
We got through the short ceremony with ease. The kids were so happy to receive their badges and their little certificates. My favorite part was when I announced Charlie’s name and how her face just lit up. My heart soared because it is with these kids that for the first time in a long time I felt like I belonged.
Then, Pastor Dave started his sermon. He spoke about heritage. About how no matter what our heritage is we are not bound by the sins of our fathers. About how we get to choose our heritage, choose our path in life, choose the family to which we want to belong to. As he spoke about his message he touched about the time he chose to have the life he wanted versus the life that was dictated by his father. He spoke about the lives he welcomed into his home as a foster parent with his wife. And it got me thinking about why I’m doing this. Why we chose the foster to adopt option.
I remember growing up wanting to just belong to something. Be a part of the girls with my sisters. Be a part of the cool kids with my friends. Or the smart kids with my other friends. I did almost anything to be a part of something. To conquer the fear of being alone. And then I realized that is what those little ones that have no permanent homes (whether temporary or not) long for. For a place to belong. A place to be loved. A place to be accepted.
And that is why we have chosen foster to adopt. I’m not going to pretend that we don’t want our family. We want to call little Johnny or little Janie ours. But, we also understand the process. We understand that we can fall in love with a little one knowing that the most important thing in their lives is for reunification. We get that. We understand that. And that is why, together, Jeremy and I will love every little one that graces our front steps. We will love them and show them who God is and why we are blessed to have them in our lives for whatever time they are in it. We will cherish each of their personalities learning from their quirks how to be better parents and better people. But, most of all, we will make them feel accepted and that they belong a part of our lives even if they don’t live in our home.
Why did we choose the foster to adopt option? Every Wednesday I walk through the doors of mPact not really knowing what to expect with 14 children between the ages of 3 and 5 jumping on me for about an hour and a half. What they don’t know is they make me feel like I belong, like I am accepted, like I am loved. They will give me a hug or take hold of my hand and I know my heart is full. Jeremy and I want to be able to do what those 14 children can do for me every Wednesday.
It’s our turn. xoxo