Wrinkle In Time

Dear Bug,

I often think about your future. Not because I want to control what the next few days, weeks, or months will be. But, simply because these last two months I’ve watched you grow and I can already see the blessings God has in store for you. With a wrinkle in time I can see your first crawl, the first time you take your first step, when I first hear, “Mama.” Continue reading “Wrinkle In Time”


Standing with Faith

The first week of visitations is over. The biggest sigh of relief hit my beaten body when the clock struck 3p on Wednesday afternoon. We made it through the week. Even still, why do I feel defeated, worn, like I just walked through a field of landmines?

I knew that I would fall fast and hard for any child that came into my home. That is who I am. I love deep. I love hard. I love with all my heart can offer. And when I got the call to pick up a little boy needing a home I was there in a flash. When we locked eyes and his baby blues looked at me and he smiled I was hooked. Continue reading “Standing with Faith”

Revisiting Visitation

I’ve had some time to think about visitation. And, I was wrong. Not because I had feelings. But, because instead of trusting and relying on God through this I took it upon myself to complain and gripe about whether or not the state is doing what they should be doing to protect my little guy.

As a newbie in the foster parent role I really don’t know what to expect when it comes to bio parents and visitations. Heck, I don’t know what to expect on anything. I gather a lot of the foster parents – no matter how seasoned they are – don’t know what to expect. Continue reading “Revisiting Visitation”


Being Sunday I didn’t expect to get a call from a visitation specialist. But, lo and behold, JB called to set up the initial visitations between bio mom and our little guy. I was content watching my movie and finally, for once in quite a long time, enjoying some actual me time. That came to a screeching halt.

Two days. Four hours. Every week.

I could only utter, “God.”

I hung up the phone my emotions warring within me. I had to take steady breaths, listen to my heart beat, find my footing. I tried to pray but I could only utter, “God.Continue reading “Visitation”

Balancing Act

We have been parents to our little one for a month and I’ve realized something: you’re never ever ready for everything in parenting. I’m one of those people who likes to have order. Organization is who I am. I like having schedules. I like knowing what is expected of me and of my day. I like the black and white. For me black and white brings simplicity and less chaos. It suits me.

Well, this month has been just that: chaos. Continue reading “Balancing Act”


Unexpectedness. An unforeseen, surprising and unexpected development. That is what parenthood appears to be. The only word that I can describe how this adventure has felt like in week two.

Last weekend wasn’t too bad. It was our second weekend as a little family and we spent it at Grandma’s. He was happy and manageable – even if we didn’t bring the infant car seat because, you know, we thought we were staying indoors. That was our note to self moment – just buckle in that bloody infant car seat and take out the huge, ginormous and heavy convertible car seat and make our life easier. Check. Continue reading “Unexpectedness”

Week One Down

We survived. The three of us. Learning about each other. Getting used to a new schedule. We survived.

A week of baby and I’m exhausted. I knew that motherhood was hard and tiring. But, I will never ever underestimate a mother or father who has said, “I was up with the little one all night because he wasn’t feeling well.” Or, “Little one is teething so we didn’t get much sleep.” I give props to the mamas and dads out there who have given so unselfishly that their kiddo would thrive. I hope I am doing the same for our little one. Continue reading “Week One Down”

The Call

Guys! It happened! It finally happened!

I would have thought when you get your first placement it would work just like it says in the books. But really, just like everything else through this journey, it was unexpected.


Within four hours from speaking with the placement desk my husband and I were strapping the little one into our car seat that has sat in my car for almost a year. And just like that we were foster parents. Continue reading “The Call”

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