Letters to You

Little One,

A couple of weeks ago, I walked with my loves through the Amazon Bookstore at Washington Square. I looked at the poem books. I looked at the cookbooks. I looked at fiction books. Then I looked at the children’s books. It was there in that space I had to  reshare my vision of writing children’s books. But, it was there in that space I also envisioned your spot in our library. Where the books that we find for you will build as quickly as the books for me. I envisioned the hours we’d spend lounging around the library sharing in our favorite books. Continue reading “Letters to You”

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Fighting the Noise

It’s already October. It has been 279 days working to become licensed foster parents.

It has been an uphill battle. I can’t lie to you and say life is peachy or that I’ve suddenly become an actual genius and fixed this merry-go-round of our process. The struggle is real. My faith is being tested and I keep telling myself God is in control. Sometimes I wonder if I’m only doing the motions. Other times I’m on my knees. Continue reading “Fighting the Noise”

A Library Fit For a Prince(ss)

Dear Little One,

By the time the judge hits the gavel I will probably have written you more letters than I’ve done your dad. And I’ve written him quite a few.

It’s been a relatively quiet week. Wednesday started my permanent session slots. Once mPact starts up again next week it’ll be busy Wednesdays for me. In a sense I welcome the routine. It’s been a very un-routine summer. I’m told that’s how motherhood is like. I guess it was nice to get a taste of it. Continue reading “A Library Fit For a Prince(ss)”

A World I Once Knew

Therapy isn’t as uncommon as it used to be. When I went to therapy as a teenager I never talked about it. Never really told anyone other than those that lived in my household. It was taboo. I didn’t want to feel crazy or be called crazy. It was tough.

My first therapist gave my angst. Literally. I didn’t feel good about how we could work together so I sought someone else. I didn’t know if that was okay, but if I had to be a part of therapy I was going to talk to someone I could trust. Continue reading “A World I Once Knew”

A Little One Update

Dear Little One,

Another week has gone by and you are still not in our arms. But, I can tell you, the process continues. We finished my second session and hearing the words, “Nothing in what you’ve shared would make me say you were crazy then or now,” has become music to my ears. And, I know, that I am not crazy. Bad crazy at least. That realization alone fills me with hope because I know that means sooner or later (hopefully sooner) you will be in my arms, in your Dad’s arms, being loved with everything in us and for everything you are. Continue reading “A Little One Update”

Once Upon A Time

I decided two years ago to write a novel. It’s been a steady process, a process that keeps changing. It’s important for me to tell this story because it has become who I am. And like my story, I have changed through the years. But, one thing has never changed: I’ve always wanted to write. After my novel I’ve committed to writing children’s books. I want children – especially mine – to fall in love with words like I did as a child. Books like Curious George, Clifford the Big Red Dog, or Brown Bear, Brown Bear has impacted me. Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein can probably be credited to my love of rhyme.  Continue reading “Once Upon A Time”

My Vows

I wanted to give an update today about our process. I had originally written a poem about all of the feels that is associated with finally starting the agency suggested sessions. But, I need to write something else to get it off my chest lest it sit there and stew.  Continue reading “My Vows”

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